


I Find Your Lack of Interest TIBIA Bit Disturbing

by ang_gray_smol



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bone Jokes, Hand Jobs, I Tried, M/M, OH BOY YEAH HERE WE GO, Teasing, basagani as dormmates, med student bas and lit student gani, well because it's about studying the bones and the dick is not a bone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ang_gray_smol/pseuds/ang_gray_smol
Summary: in which basilio, being the enthusiastic med student he is, shows isagani the orientation of the bones in the human skeleton





	1. the not sequel, everything except pelvic bones

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://almightytrashcan.tumblr.com/post/139602723598/i-find-your-lack-of-interest-tibia-bit-disturbing)

“Alright then, Isagani!”

Basilio cracked his knuckles excitedly. Isagani, noticing his friend’s giddiness, put his book and highlighter down, and set it on top of his sleek laptop that rested on his desk. He adjusted his glasses in that scholarly way of his, almost as if he was anticipating something big.

The compound was quiet; the city lights were beginning to illuminate outside and bring about a brighter light than the moon at night. Basilio led his roommate into the dining area, where he turned on all the lights. He made Isagani sit on the dining table, despite the latter’s compaints.

“What now?” Isagani asked, almost exasperatedly. Basilio’s stupid grin grew wider, if that was even possible.

“I need to review for my quiz in anatomy,” Basilio paused, but Isagani knows.

Isagani _knows_.

“You’ll be using me to review you.”

Isagani hesitated. Basilio waited.

“About _bones_.”

Basilio snapped his fingers. “Exactly, _hermano burrito_!”

“ _Hermano burrito_?”

Basilio yanked Isagani’s arm with a great amount of force that Isagani didn’t know that Basilio possessed, and the latter began his review.

Or rather, naming process.

“Carpals, metacarpals, and phalanges,” Basilio mused, massaging Isagani’s hand in his palms. Isagani narrowed his eyes as Basilio pointed a finger at Isagani’s forearm. “Radius.” He pointed to one side. “Ulna.” He pointed to another side.

Basilio turned his head to look at Isagani. “Don’t you find this a bit – ”

He pointed at Isagani’s upper arm as the latter narrowed his eyes more.

“ _humerus?_ ”

In that moment, Isagani vowed internally, to the heavens, to the depths of the earth, and to every god that he’s learned about in World Literature, that he will _end_ Basilio.

Basilio’s fingers travelled up Isagani’s forearm as the former went through with his review. “Clavicle,” he said, massaging the said bone. Isagani flinched in his seat, but Basilio didn’t seem to notice.

Isagani felt Basilio’s hand scale down his back. “Your spine,” he said, the energy from the previous excitement almost gone, but still there. Isagani flushed a bright pink as he felt his sins crawling on his back. Basilio’s fingers were gentle, like they were caressing his skin even though he was wearing a shirt. They pointed to another bone in his body: “The scapula.”

Basilio then patted Isagani’s head, making the latter recoil in surprise. Basilio smiled. “Your skull.”

Isagani was very close to breathing a sigh of relief because Basilio was not showing further ulterior motives that would’ve ended him and rendered him useless and immobile when he held Isagani’s chin in that intimidating, ‘anime’ way.

“Your mandible, the only movable jaw bone.”

Isagani froze, down to his bone marrow.

Basilio stopped, seeing that his friend looked very uncomfortable now.

“Isagani? You okay?”

Isagani nodded, almost blankly. “I think…I’m living in a fanfiction.”

Basilio’s eyes lit up, and he clapped his hands together.

“Oh, good!”

Basilio suddenly grabbed Isagani’s shoulders, and forced Isagani to face him directly.

“Umm…Basilio?”

Basilio pointed at Isagani’s chest.

“This is your sternum,” he said as-a-matter-of-factly, his finger never leaving Isagani’s chest. “also commonly called the ‘breastbone’.”

Basilio’s finger slides up a bit. “The articular capsule.”

And Isagani swore that he’s chill. He’s _so_ chill.

Basilio immediately knelt in front of him, so smoothly Isagani would’ve compared it to sandpaper.

“Milady,” he began in a mock voice. Isagani rolled his eyes hard. “Would you do me the honor of naming the bones in your legs and in your feet?”

Isagani sighed very, very deeply. What other choice did he have, anyway?

“No.”

Basilio sprung up in excitement.

“Oh, yes.”

Isagani sighed even louder.

“Isagani, I have a very important question for you,” Basilio said, very seriously, as though the question was a matter of life and death, whose answer held the balance of the world in its judgment, and which Isagani didn’t exactly expect it to be, knowing how unserious Basilio can get regarding intelligent puns and medical jokes.

Isagani pursed his lips. What happened to the very smooth, ‘chancing’ Basilio from a few minutes ago?

“Do you like tapa?”

Isagani was about to nod his head, when Basilio cut him off.

“Or do you like – ”

Basilio poked a finger at Isagani’s knee.

“ _patella_?”

It was in that moment that Isagani died inside, his soul giving up the determination and perseverance to go on in this pun-filled world.

“Down here are your fibula and tibia,” Basilio added, his pointer finger gesturing at the said bones. Isagani held back the urge to kick his friend in the face.

“You don’t seem to be having fun, aren’t you?” Basilio’s tone suddenly drops, and Isagani suddenly regrets sassing him earlier on. “No, no, it’s okay – ”

Basilio pointed at the bone he labeled as ‘tibia’.

“I find your lack of interest _tibia_ bit disturbing.”

Basilio grinned widely, while Isagani died a little bit more inside.

Basilio’s hand traveled upward, and gripped Isagani’s thighs playfully. Isagani, stunned by the action, blushed a bright red.

“B-basilio…”

His grip on Isagani’s thigh grew tighter.

“This,” Basilio began, his voice alluring as he drew out every syllable, just enough for Isagani to hear perfectly. “is your femur. The _longest_ bone in the human skeleton.”

Basilio gave Isagani’s thigh a tight squeeze.

By this time, Isagani’s face had gone a very deep red, and he cupped his hand to his mouth so as to stop himself from making little noises.

 _What the hell? I’m just helping Basilio review for his quiz_ , he thought, yet his mind was getting jumbled around all because Basilio was touching him _and he wasn’t showing signs of letting go_.

He tried averting Basilio’s gaze, but he couldn’t help himself from feeling aroused when, in the corner of his eye, he saw Basilio’s tongue flit out to lick his lips. Basilio’s hand was still rested on his thigh, and it threatened to go higher.

Isagani felt like he was going to implode.

“Ah well.” Basilio lets go of Isagani, who exhaled all the oxygen he didn’t know he was holding in. “It’s getting late, and my quiz is in two days, anyway,” he said cheerfully, as though the current Basilio was not the _sexy-beast_ Basilio who had flustered Isagani is so many ways already earlier.

He walked over to the door of his room, and twisted the knob. Before entering, Basilio looked back to Isagani, and smirks.

“Besides,” he added. “I haven’t gone to the pelvis and lower back area yet.”

And he shut the door of his room.

Isagani, still in a flustered daze, blinked almost thrice before he realized what Basilio had meant.

_Oh my God._


	2. sequel, now with pelvic bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isagani would do lots of things if Basilio asked him too. He's a nice friend that way.
> 
> Basilio wanted to study the pelvic bones.
> 
> Isagani just _had to_ comply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, here's the sequel that no one really asked for but got anyway because smut good

“Gani! Help!”

Isagani stood up from the dining table, setting his book and glasses down as he headed for Basilio’s room.

“Yeah?” He opened the door, and found Basilio looking over a textbook with a rather exaggerated confused look.

“You’re a good friend, right?” Basilio asked.

“Um…I guess…?”

“Good!” Basilio pulled him into the room by arm, and made him sit on the bed, the sheets still rather rumpled around, much to Isagani’s distaste. Basilio moved to lock the bedroom door.

“I’ll need you to help me review.”

“Again?” Isagani asked exasperatedly. “I thought you were done studying or something?”

“Well,” Basilio started, seemingly apologetic, but Isagani knew better, because Basilio was barely apologetic when it came to ridiculous requests.

(He remembers the last time Basilio tried reviewing with Isagani, and it gave him a mini heart attack and a half-hard dick.)

“I’m not done yet, remember?”

Isagani scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “Remember?” he asked.

“Yes, Gani. Remember.”

It took Isagani a full thirty seconds before it finally it him. When it did, all the blood rushed to his face. A broad grin grew on Basilio’s face as he watched Isagani gape in pure, unadulterated horror.

“Yes, Gani. You’re going to help me review the pelvic bones and lower back bones of the human skeletal system,” Basilio said sinisterly. He wiggled his fingers in that pervy kind of manner that made Isagani want to bolt out the room and jump out the window to safety.

Instead of actually running out the door and climbing the balcony of their dorm, he uttered a tiny, “No,” before ultimately accepting his fate the moment Basilio inched closer to him.

“Good thing you removed your glasses too,” Basilio whispered, voice low and raspy that made Isagani’s heart jump. “That’ll make this whole ordeal easier.”

Basilio settled himself nicely on Isagani’s lap, the latter noticing the slightest brush of their hips that made him jolt and sit up straighter.

Gently, Basilio pushed Isagani down on the bed. He tapped at Isagani’s shirt. “May I?”

Dazed, Isagani nodded. Basilio easily slipped his hands underneath the fabric, and let them traverse the expanse of Isagani’s broad chest. He paused to pinch at Isagani’s nipples, earning a yelp and an embarrassed glare from the other man.

“That’s not a pelvic bone!”

“Cute,” Basilio muttered. Then, he pointed right at Isagani’s abdomen.

“Behind here is the anterior longitudinal ligament.” Basilio talked in that same raspy whisper of his that made the blood rush not only to Isagani’s face but to the growing heat in his pants as well. “It spans nearly the entire length of the spine, beginning from the second axis,” Basilio slid his finger up to where the sternum ended, “all the way down to the sacrum.”

Basilio slid his finger down past Isagani’s navel, past the waist band of his jersey shorts, to the stretch of skin just above his cock. The soft sensation made Isagani splutter.

“Bas…” He made a move to reach out to Basilio, before his wrists were pinned down to the bed. Isagani realized only belatedly that Basilio pushed him down, and was now leering above him.

“I’m only getting started, Gani.”

Basilio dug his finger into the point where it stood and Isagani gasped. He squirmed but his arms were locked in place above his head.

“Somewhere below here,” Basilio moved his finger downwards just a tiny bit, barely grazing Isagani’s dick, “is the coccyx, or the tailbone.”

“S-Stop…”

Basilio paid no attention to Isagani’s pleas. His hands moved everywhere _but_ the growing lump in Isagani’s shorts, naming bones and ligaments that Isagani didn’t give one flying fuck about.

“And finally,” Basilio exclaimed in mock excitement, letting his face inch dangerously close to Isagani’s, keenly observing the other’s reaction, “we have the pelvic bone.”

 _Oh no_.

“It stretches all the way from here,” Basilio points at the hip and travels painfully slow in a parabolic design as Isagani tries to hold in his moans, “to here.”

He prodded lightly at the tent in Isagani’s shorts, amusement dancing in his eyes. Isagani looks away, clamps his mouth shut, fearing that any other sound that comes out next will absolutely be used against his person.

“Well,” Basilio said, relinquishing his hold on Isagani’s wrists with a flourish. “That’s that. Thanks again, Gani.”

Basilio hummed, and just as he was getting up, Isagani dragged him back down on the bed, effectively reversing their positions.

“Wha–”

“You’re done?” Isagani whispered hotly in Basilio’s ear. “Look at you.” He pressed his knee against Basilio’s crotch, and he yelped.

“You’re just as hard as I am.”

Red spread from Basilio’s cheeks all the way down to his neck. He tried to keep his calm façade, but he couldn’t deny the heat curling up in his stomach.

“So?” He tried sounding like it didn’t matter, but winced internally at how weak his voice suddenly became. It weakened even more when Isagani took hold of Basilio’s wrists and pinned them above his head.

“Where was that again?” Isagani’s fingers trailed down, mimicking Basilio from earlier. “The pelvic bone? It stretches all the way from here,” Isagani grabs Basilio’s hard cock harshly and Basilio yelps loudly, his blush intensifying, “to here, right?”

Isagani stroked the warm bump slowly, relishing in the way Basilio’s voice hitched. It sent fire coursing through his blood, a newfound energy pushing him out of his awkwardness. He wanted to toy with Basilio then and there, to bend him over and fuck him senseless, but no, he’d rather tease him first, like how Basilio did last time. He’d tease him over and over until Basilio couldn’t think straight anymore.

Basilio was breathing heavily now, whimpering softly when Isagani tugged his shorts down, revealing his aching cock, already oozing with pre-cum.

“Hoh, I haven’t even touched you directly yet,” Isagani said, a smirk pulling at his lips. “You’re rather filthy, aren’t you Basi?”

“Sh-Shut up,” Basilio retorted, trying his best to sound stern. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” Isagani’s fingers grazed against Basilio’s length, and Basilio shivered. “Why, if I recall correctly, _you_ started this in the first place.” He punctuated the ‘you’ by sliding his thumb over the slit. Basilio bucked up, a whine escaping his mouth.

“G-Gani!”

Isagani started to stroke Basilio, gripping the length tightly and pumping a slow rhythm. He’d play around like this and let Basilio writhe under him.

Slow torture as payback for his stupid bone jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god sorry kung bitin my brain literally shut down and i couldn't think of anything else
> 
> first attempt at actual smut pwease be gentwe uwu

**Author's Note:**

> i regret nothing
> 
> express similar sentiments at  
> tumblr: almightytrashcan.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @stabby_sisiw


End file.
